a poem for the longest month

10 man broken car
blue screen of death
dull students
jaded teachers
blue screen of me.
overlypresumptious expectations
overly excited fall. Happy for 1 more year. confident with my decision
when did it Fall
apart?
golden leaves, fall hikes, glorious imoni,
mushrooms mushrooms mushrooms
softcream
settled into the dead of winter,
the dead of students
the dead of teachers
the dead of me.
I used to appreciate the beauty and silence of winter.
Is it Japan or is it me?
I no longer take the time to lick the snowflakes from the air.
the crisp air feels wet and heavy.
joyous days of skiing followed by onsen followed by ramen are brought to a close with the knowledge of the gray building which is to come on monday.
even in my genkiest moments, I can:t forget
6 more months
DESK
DESK
DESK
I stare at the screen of life in front of me and type
search for ways of escape.
how much is it to Kathmandu again?
I search again.
My soul is confused.
present or future? and what about the past?
What have I learned from You, country of Rice?
You taught me how to be alone.
or did you?


I wrote this free thought poem in one go without editing. I miss writing like this so I think I will do it more from now on. This time last year I remember being difficult as well. I think it oomes with the time of the school year and having less classes and less cheerful students. Lots has happened in December and January but I haven't had much time to write.... I will post pictures of my parent's visit soon.